Our friends have a horse called Jackson. Jackson is a stunning bay quarter horse and when we met, i approached him with the expectation that i would be received warmly. Pinned ears and a warning posture made me step back in case he decided to set his boundary more aggressively.

For the past few weeks i have mostly kept my distance, offering some fruity treats now and then to see if i might be permitted in the circle of his trust. This was not having much effect, however. This week, our friends were away, so care of Jackson fell to us. Jackson and i developed a bit more of a rapport around feeding time, and a couple of times he let me scratch his chin. But there were still often pinned ears, and i remained cautious.

Then yesterday, something truly magnificent happened. After his breakfast, Jackson approached me on the other side of the fence. i offered my hand and he allowed me to scratch his chin. And he stayed, and he did not put his ears back. i scratched behind his ears, under his chin, along his jaw bone, and down his neck as he actively adjusted his posture for me to reach the areas he wanted me to. i was amazed and really taken up in the experience when a key turned and unlocked Jackson’s gift. Awareness flooded over me as tears began to fall. Jackson was showing me my own defensiveness, showing me how i keep intimacy away, and how i respond to those who care for me as though i must protect myself. The more the emotion moved out, the more Jackson leaned in, putting his head against my body. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” i repeated over and over as i kissed his face through my tears.

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